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I know, I know. The point of having a blog is to actually update it and write in it. Well, here’s a recap of the last few months.

I was approached by two different groups to do a presentation for AWP in Seattle. AWP is the big creative writing conference that happens every year. The panels are currently undergoing approval or denial, but I am excited. If I get to present both panels, it’ll look really awesome for my CV. I’ll post more about it as the time comes.

Speaking of presentations, I presented at the first ever LGBT Graduate Student Symposium at UW-Milwaukee. I was presenting on my work about the LGBT+ Community and representation in the online gaming realm. While my work garnered a lot of discussion, more people felt the need to comment on my delivery. In other words, I tanked. I stuttered and was shaking so bad when talking, I lost my place. I had to stop and read my notes and start up again. I am terrified of public speaking, which confuses people because I am a performance artist. I guess it’s because as a speaker, I have to own my material—I don’t quite “own” my research yet. I can take claim of my art, I can take claim of my lectures, but not my critical work. Yet.

Segue into teaching. This was perhaps one of my most difficult teaching semesters. I had a student who despite every single thing I tried just did not want to learn the material and was a drain on the class. He ended up draining the students’ energy and was just unpleasant. He didn’t do any of the work and wrote offensive things in the exam. He topped it off by suddenly emailing me about how he “loved my class” and “was excited to get an A because [he] did all the work.” An A? Last I checked a 46% wasn’t an A.

Awkward segue into personal goals and performance. This summer, I plan on doing a lot. I’ll be working at a new job, working a new internship and presenting at another conference. This will be the first summer I won’t be in Los Angeles for an extended period of time. I’ll only be going back for short visits. I’m really excited to stay in the city for the summer. I want to be held accountable for my work, so I am supposed to read at least one book a week from my soon to be updated reading list. I’ll try to post my notes and thoughts on here, so I can keep myself organized around qualifying exam time. I’m also going to try to write a poem every 3 days. So between reading, writing, work and trying to get back into shape, I should be busy—busy is good because when I’m busy, I’m too focused to be depressed.

You’d swear that I was having a mid-life/quarter-life crisis. But I’m not doing anything destructive, like getting a tattoo…yet.