Thoughts I am having as I finish writing my (late) preliminary examination proposal

Taking a break from the creativity project for a life update.

  1. I am getting really sick of writing the terms: lyric elegy, gendered narratives, performance identity, postnational citizenship, third wave feminism, heteropatriarchy, discourse, poetic “I,” prosody and orientalism.
  2. I really suck at time management. I had a bit of a nervous breakdown last week and I’m still trying to recover from it. It was a combination of: stress, sickness, my car being broken into, the fact that the holidays are upon us, and mostly me getting the flu. Again.
  3. I am wondering about the conflation of the narrator, the author and the reader when it comes to contemporary poetics. I do think that nonfiction has more to do with poetry than it does with fiction, but then again I write in persona. A lot. I hide myself off from people in my text. I wonder if when you read something, you become implicated (although that’s too strong a word for it) with the narrator in the thoughts, feelings and emotions–which are usually tied back to the author. Meh. It’s past midnight and I haven’t slept yet. It’s too late for me to be dwelling on this.
  4. I am wondering at the play between literature, art and society. I have graphic novels, fiction, nonfiction and poetry all on my reading list. I was thinking of sticking a play on there, but that would be too much for me to try to tackle in a year’s worth of reading. But still, when else am I going to have the luxury of reading?
  5. I bought a book to read for pleasure today when I was out with my boyfriend. I felt guilty that it was for pleasure.
  6. Boyfriend. Partner. Boyfriend. Partner. These labeling politics bother me. I do really care for him and he is a huge part of my life (and my support system). I feel like I lack the words to tell him so.
  7. I wonder when being a grad student stopped being fun for me and started becoming a “job” as opposed to something I actually cared about. I used to love learning and I used to love teaching. Now I am dreading it.
  8. I hope I can get some writing done.
  9. I am so done writing this. It’s a rough draft. I hope my adviser doesn’t kill me too much.
  10. Even if it is over a week late.

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