I don’t understand psychoanalysis. I barely passed my theory class dealing with it. What I do remember is the idea of the “avatar,” the incarnations we have and how we present ourselves online and offline. If I understood the concept correctly, then we all have many masks. We all put a different mask on depending on the situation. Some of these masks are similar to one another, others are incredibly different.
I have always at odds because instead of different masks, I have different mirrors. I have issues with identity. I don’t know how to define myself except how others see me. I always define myself using someone else. I am X’s friend. I am Y’s brother. Etc. Etc.
I can’t even see how to properly address myself on a blog—a tool meant for self expression. I don’t know if I should be candid or professional. This is what caused me to delete the last 4 blogs I had because I couldn’t maintain that balance nor could I really be arsed to try.
That’s why I think it’s strangely funny that I teach identity theory when I don’t even know who the hell I am. I don’t want to get all existential here, but I really don’t think any of us know who we are, so we all just pretend and act like who people want/expect us to act.
So with that, I am closing with one of my favorite songs, Ben Folds’ “Best Imitation of Myself”